亲爱的朋友...DearFriend...我写信给你是因为她说你是一个善解人意的聆听者...Iamwritingtoyoubecauseshesaidyoulistenandunderstand...并且没有和那次派对上遇见的某人上床的打算...anddidn'ttrytosleepwiththatpersonatthatparty...尽管只要你想，这不过是分分钟的事eventhoughyoucouldhave.烦请不要尝试探明我的身份Pleasedon'ttrytofigureoutwhoIam...这不是我所希望的...Idon'twantyoutodothat.我只是需要知道世界上尚还存在你这样的人Ijustneedtoknowthatpeoplelikeyouexist.如果你遇见我，希望你不要误以为...Likeifyoumetme,youwouldn'tthinkIwas...我是那种思维古怪，接受过医院治疗的小孩theweirdkidwhospenttimeinthehospital.我不会让你感觉紧张的AndIwouldn'tmakeyounervous.希望我的想法不算是某种僭越Ihopeit'sokayformetothinkthat.你知道吗，我一整个暑假都没有和家人之外的人说过话Yousee,Ihaven'treallytalkedtoanyoneoutsideofmyfamilyallsummer.但明天我就要开始高中生活...Buttomorrowismyfirstdayofhighschoolever...这种情况不能再持续下去了andIneedtoturnthingsaround.所以，我打算So,Ihaveaplan.在我迈出跨入校门的第一步时AsIentertheschoolforthefirsttime...我会在脑海中想象我毕业那天的情景Iwillvisualizewhatitwillbelikeonthelastdayofmysenioryear.不幸的是，经过我的计算，这两者之间...Unfortunately,Icounted,andthat's...快学青蛙跳，新生们，跳起来！小的们，前进！Hop,freshmantoads.Hop!Let'smoveit,boys!隔着1385天的漫长距离1385daysfromnow.一整个夏天都在锻炼呢，到时候要好好表现Workedoutallsummer.Rockhard.你俩怎么不去开房呢？Youknow,Whydon'tyouguysgetaroom?还有1385天Just1385days.与此同时，我希望我姐姐卡蒂丝和他男友德雷克Inthemeantime,I'dhopedthatmysisterCandaceandherboyfriendDerek......能让我跟他们的地球保护社成员坐在一起吃午餐...wouldhaveletmeeatlunchwiththeirEarthClub.只有高年级学生能参加Seniorsonly.你拿那塑料餐具做什么？Whatareyoudoingwiththatplasticspork?我不想用银餐具Idon'twanttobringbacksilverware.德雷克，你可是地球保护社的财务干事，别用一次性餐具Derek,you'reEarthClubTreasurer.Comeon.当这一请求被我姐姐拒绝之后...Whenmysistersaidno...我想也许我的老同学苏珊会想和我一起吃午餐IthoughtmaybemyoldfriendSusanwouldwanttohavelunchwithme.初中那会，苏珊和我玩得很好，但...Inmiddleschool,Susanwasveryfuntobearound,but...现在她已经不会再向我打招呼了nowshedoesn'tliketosayhitomeanymore.我把目光转向布莱德·海斯Andthenthere'sBradHays.在我哥哥加入宾州大学的足球队之前...BeforemyolderbrotherwenttoplayfootballforPennState...他常常和布莱德一起踢球heandBradplayedtogether.因此我想他或许在看到我时会说一声“嗨”So,Ithoughtmaybehe'dsayhitome.但布莱德是高年级生，而我只是我。问好？开什么国际玩笑？ButBrad'saseniorandI'mme,so,whoamIkidding?让我庆幸的是，一个高年级生打算...Onthebrightside,oneseniordecidedto...从老师而不是新生身上找点乐子makefunoftheteacherinsteadofthefreshmen.他甚至用油性笔在自己脸上画了跟卡拉汉老师一样的山羊胡HeevendrewonMr.Callahan'slegendarygoateewithagreasepencil.冲击钻可不是玩具Theprickpunchisnotatoy.我二十多年前就知道了Ilearnedthatbackin'Namin'68.“卡拉汉，”，中尉对我说"Callahan,"thesergeantsaid...“把那冲击钻放下，去杀几个黄皮佬再回来。”..."youputdownthatprickpunch,yougokillsomegooks."（注：gook为越战时美军对越军的蔑称）知道后来发生了什么吗？Andyouknowwhathappened?我最好的朋友在西贡的一个窑子里被那把冲击钻给搞死了ThatprickpunchkilledmybestfriendinaSaigonwhorehouse.听说你在我的班上啊Iheardyouweregonnabeinmyclass.臭小子，重修低年级手工课很值得自豪么？Areyouproudtobeaseniorhavingtotakefreshmanshop,Patty-Cakes?听着，我叫帕特里克Look.MynameisPatric...
